My Spiritual Experience...
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I would like to say, before I get into this story, that it is very personal to me and definitely an experience I will not forget. In the past, I've been very choosy about who I shared this with making sure it was someone I trusted and understood. I realize some people do not understand these types of things and are critical and skeptical. I just want readers to know I am not one to make things up and I have to really have to believe in something if I'm going to take the time to write about it. When this happened to me I was 17 years old and I was completely sober and drug free with no kind of disorder that would cause delusions or hallucinations. Depressed I was but delusional or having hallucinations, no. I have put a lot of details about myself in here that I don't share with just anybody but I feel like I really need to share these things because it is part of the story. I'm grateful to be able to share this with others who understand but for those who don't, all I ask is that you try to read with an open mind. Thats all. :0)
All my life I've been a emotionally sensitive type and extremely full of guilt and fear and I don't know why. I didn't have the best childhood (as many of us don't) so maybe this had a part, I really don't know. My teenage years were very difficult as I was in a lot of emotional pain. I was plagued with extreme insecurity and a horrible problem with jealousy when it came to boyfriends and an underlying rage that just ate at me. I had so much self-hatred I would even do things like cut on myself and bang my head on walls while in a crying rage. My boyfriend at the time had cheated on me. The fights we would get into way exceeded screaming and yelling. My jealousy and rage drove me into physical confrontations with him where he had to hold me down and it always ended up with me completely exhausted and asking myself over and over why am I not good enough for him? I had always had very low self-esteem and a terribly distorted body image. It's a shame looking back as hind sight is 20/20 and there was nothing wrong with me but you would have never been able to convince me of that back then.
It was during the fall years ago. I was sitting on my bedroom floor talking to my boyfriend over the phone. The subject of the conversation was about him cheating on me of course and I remember just asking him why did he do it and I remember feeling sick because my insides were churning. This emotional pain was worse than any pain I've had in my life even to this day. This war with myself and this self-hatred, jealousy and rage that I had within me just kept me in a state of unbearable misery.
With tears streaming down my face as I'm on the phone with him, not knowing to this day if I actually said it or thought it but God Please Help Me came to my mind. As these words came I looked up to the left upper corner of my room where the wall meets the ceiling and I see a whitish gray mist and it comes to me, surrounds me so that is all I can see and then it goes through me. I can't even tell you the measure of time. It seemed that instantly my pain was gone having been sucked out of me- like a vacuum cleaner sucks things off the carpet. I know that sounds odd but that is the only thing that I can compare it to. Every single negative emotion that I was feeling at that moment were pulled or sucked out of me and what remained was a calmness that I had never felt in my entire life. I was still crying but instead of tears of pain it was tears of joy. I hung up with my boyfriend and quickly found my bible for I knew this had to be of God. I even tried to re-feel the anger and self-hate but I couldn't. It just wasn't there anymore.The main thing that I felt was just being at peace with myself and everything around me and this eternal love that connects each and everyone of us though many don't know. This feeling of peace and serenity stayed with me for a little while but eventually left. The miracle is that I've never had those horrible issues with myself since- at least not to the degree I had them then. The rage has never returned since that day. I'm 37 now and remember this experience as if it had happened just yesterday. I know with all my being that what happened was real.
What exactly was it? I don't know for sure but I know it was something very powerful and loving. It had something to do with God and His love not just for me but for all of us. Whatever it was it saved from the torment that I lived with day in and day out. I prefer to think it was something like the Holy Spirit that swept right through me and forced all of those destructive emotions out of me. It was a miracle for sure and it changed my life. Don't get me wrong, I've had some pretty bad times since then but nothing compared to that torture inside me at 17 years old. Sometimes now when I feel disconnected from God I think about what happened to me in my bedroom that day and I know He's there. I might not always feel him but He is there. Always has been and always will be.
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What an amazing experience, and yes I totally believe it. I have had a few similar things happen to me, and its such a wonderful feeling, nell
KDuBarry03- Thank you for voting up and for your super nice comment :) Yes, I think it is one of those stories where God is saying "Never forget I am here". I still get goosebumps every time I think about it. Thank you so much for stopping by and reading about my experience :)
This is a very moving story! It brought a tear to my eye. It's one of those stories when God is saying, "Never forget I'm here". Very powerful emotions and memories in this hub...I voted WAY up :)
Suzette,
You go girl!! I so agree.......I am so happy that we've met here. God's message to you was profound.. and it gave me goosebumps as I read it. It is so true.. and I thank you for taking the time to comment and share that with me... It's exactly what I needed to hear because even though I can always look back on my own experience, I do tend to forget just how awesome and powerful Our Father is. I understand the tears people cry too.. it's about realizing how small we are compared to God yet understanding His love for us.. it really is amazing. It's like that song Amazing Grace. It is unbelievable His love for us. I've had people try to convince me that God doesn't exist but they can keep on talking because that is one thing that I'll never be convinced of. God is here now, in all of our lives, whether we feel Him or not. Thank you so much for sharing your encounter with me... I still have goosebumps! I'm so happy to meet someone else who has experienced the Power of God firsthand :)
I am deeply moved by your story. It isn't odd or strange at all. I remember having an encounter with God when I was a teenager. He said this to me and this has been the backdrop of my entire walk since, "Don't put me in a box. I'm too big for that." And truly, over these 52 years, He's shown me through every experience that He is too big to be boxed in. And the beauty of it, He beckons me out of all constructs that limit who I am. He is so wonderful. I now understand why people cry when they talk about him. He's done something for us that nobody...I mean NOBODY could do.
Oscarlites, thank you for telling me about your experience with the angel.. it is nice to meet others who have had similar experiences and understand what I am talking about. I bet your angel is still looking over you :)
what you shared was much like my story and axperience seeing an angel at my grandparents farm when I was seven and was extremely afraid and the angel took all my fears away and left me calm and I was then able to sleep.. that one experience has effected me many times since in my adult life.. bravo...
annadavis25, Thank you for reading about my experience. I do feel blessed for sure. I just wish I could feel that presence again but I know in time, I will :) Thank you again for stopping by!
Thank you, missolive :) It was a beautiful moment in my life I will never forget. I wish I could feel that way again but I feel like in time, I will experience it again. Thank you so much for reading about my experience. I really appreciate it :)
Linda, Yes, that is exactly how I felt.. I had no idea what had happened but it was something so powerful because I was immediately taken out of the torment into a place of serenity. I know what you mean about people looking perplexed. I was scared to write the hub for fear of people trying to pick this experience apart and make it into something it wasn't but I know it happened and I will stand by my word until my dying day. I love meeting others who understand this! Thank you for reading :)
Vinaya, It's neat to meet someone else who has had such experience. It was so powerful I remember it like it happened yesterday. Thank you so much for reading. Hope you are having a great day!
Hey Jamie, it looks like you have the same God that I do. It's not uncommon when you are brought to your knees, He appears! Congrats! You get to live the rest of your life knowing for sure that He's there when you need him. Some people haven't experienced that. Count yourself blessed. AD
Thank you for sharing this beautiful and spiritual experience. You were blessed to see, feel and share this profound moment. Nobody can take away our personal experiences and memories - they are ours to cherish and reflect on. You were certainly cleansed of your pain at a moment when you needed it. Your prayers were heard and answered.
Again, thank you for sharing
I totally understand Jamie. I was 33 years old and going through a divorce. The moment was surreal. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I didn't see a mist. I was outdoors and it was like I had a gust of wind enter me and then leave. I stood there transfixed and had no idea what happened, but I knew it was wonderful. I've told this to others and they look perplexed. Unless you have truly been there, you won't understand. I understand!! I want that moment again!!:)
I can so much relate to your experience because when I was a teenager, I too had such spiritual experience.
kitty, thank you so much for reading about my story and thank you for believing and also for the votes! It took a lot to write this because I was afraid I would get negative comments but actually I haven't received anything negative, only positive and supportive :0) I am happy that you understand :0)
That's beautiful, Jamie! And of course I believe you. I've had experiences similar but never quite so intense! Beautiful story. Voted up and awesome. God (or whomever you call it) was there for you in a very real way that day.
BarbaraJo..Thank you for reading about what happened to me. So glad to be able to share this with people who believe :)
Wow what an incredible story! Thank you for sharing! Great job!
Fluffy77, Thank you for such nice comment.. I really appreciate you reading about my experience :) I will hop over and have a look at your dream hubs.. Thank you again!
You have a great spiritual story to share here for sure, and thanks for doing so. Very moving, wonderful, and beautiful too. I have had some spiritual events myself, they have made me better for them. You should check out my dream based stories, one of my spiritual events has always come from my dreams. Thanks for sharing, so awesome!
JLClose, thank you for reading and commenting :0) I agree with you... God speaks to each and every one of us in different ways. I think for me the challenge is so often being open to hearing what He's saying to me. I still ask myself why did He come to me in that dramatic way but I'm sure glad He did.
I have never had a "supernatural" experience like this, and it must be a really cool feeling to know that God actually physically reached out his hand to you, so to speak. I'm sure He speaks to each of us in whatever way He knows will get through. Thanks for sharing your story!
jantamaya, thank you for reading about my experience.. yes, I do feel it sometimes (not as dramatic as this time) but at times when I talk to God and I am feeling overwhelmed He has a way of reaching in and calming down my soul at times (only way to describe it) like an instant calming down and lulling of negative emotion.. like a peace washes over me.. God is SO good and always there. Thank you so much for reading and sharing how God has been there for you, too :0)
Jamie, a wonderful story. Feeling peace and serenity, this is the best what can happen to all of us. God is with you Jamie. Believe in it and you will experience it again and again. At this time as it happened, you didn't know nothing about it. But, you know it now, also in sometimes difficult times - God is with you. Always. {I feel the divine energy all my life, it is always very positive and helpful, though I'm not that religious... I feel blessed with this divine energy around me):-)
You are welcome, Christine. I was scared for a while to share it because I thought people would judge me and think I was crazy. I realize though now that there are a lot of people out there that understand and gone through similar things. Thank you so much for reading! God Bless :0)
Wow, words have escaped me. I am so grateful that you have shared this story with us. I still have goosebumps. It just shows that God is with you with the good and unfortunatly the bad that happens. Thank you again for sharing this story!
minso, thank you for reading and for the very nice comment :)
Whenever something seemingly bad happens in our lives like rejection or disapproval, most of us normally end up with discouragement, depression and anger. However these rejections could be gateways to discover higher source of power whatever name we call it. Your experience clearly establishes this point once again. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading about my experience, Carrie... it is weird because I don't really remember saying God, help me so I must have thought it. I just know it was God taking the pain away because it was so intense. A close friend told me she thought maybe it was something that I couldn't bear anymore.. they say God will not give you any more than you can bear and the more I think about it, it almost seems like it was a spirit of oppression that left my body because I mean, I physically felt this leave my body.. sometimes i think maybe God knew I couldn't bear that anymore and he came and took it away. I mean, I often think maybe I might have committed suicide if I had to keep going like that. I hope I am making sense :)
Anyway, thank you so much for reading and for the nice comment.
Thank you for sharing your innermost feelings Jamie. I have done the same in many difficult times throughout my life and said "please God,help me" and He has never let me down. It's like a weight lifted from my shoulder's each time. Great hub!
Minnetonka, What a nice comment! Thank you for reading about my experience.I so agree with you that with God anything is possible. Bless you and so happy to meet you here!
Hi Jamie and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this very personal, spiritual experience with us. I do believe these miracles can happen as with God anything is possible. It sounds like you had a really hard time in your younger days and I am glad you have more peace now. God Bless you:)
Thank you for reading, agusfanani. It's an experience I'll never forget.. and I'm glad to have shared it with you. Take Care and God Bless!
A nice, touching article. God loves you so that He heals your emotional pain and leads you to the right direction .
Thank you projects for the kind comment.
Many people have visits from the Holy Spirit, and will often ignore it or try to explain it away. It is good that you recognized it for what it truly was and chose to share it to inspire others.
Enlydia Listener, Thank you so much for reading about my experience.
LightIsLove, Yes, I felt like it was def something that I couldn't handle on my own anymore. I needed some kind of divine help. I don't think I could have changed it on my own. Thank you for the encouragement.
VioletSun, thank you for reading and for understanding...there truly is something out there more powerful and amazing than any of us can comprehend but it IS there.
Thank you all for your nice comments!
This is awesome! I love reading stories such as yours as it reminds us that life is more than what the five senses tell us. Thank you for sharing, as it will continue to inspire readers who are receptive.
I think you are a beautiful person and it is wonderful you have found the good in yourself. I believe God sends angels to everyone of us and will help when called upon. Your angel helped you because you could not do it on your own. Always look for the good in yourself and others and you will find it.
LightIsLove
I am happy that God answered you...I just found your article today and will read more that you have written...Blessings
Thank you didasham- the love of God is so powerful that we can't even comprehend it.
.....I could feel your beauty as I read each word,God bless you and I am glad that you found yoursef
Your welcome, kashmir.. I try to remember this experience when I feel disconnected from God and it helps to remind me that He truly is here and of how much He loves us. Thank you for stopping and reading about my experience.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful experience, our God is awesome and sometimes we need to cry out for His help and He will be there to help us, has He did for you!
Great hub Thumbs up!!!
Thank you for reading matterofthought and for the very nice comment. I'm so glad that you could relate.. I get goosebumps too even now when I think about it. It was such a powerful experience. To describe it in one word I would say joyful... I imagine or at least I hope that I will "know" that joy and peace again when my time here on earth is over.
WOW. God works in mysterious ways right! Thanx for shareing, that was awsome. I get goose bumps. Its amazing. Its funny how everything begins in the mind, isnt it? Makes me wonder what kind of real physical energy is really in their and its awsome becuase its all connected to God. I agree with RTalloni. God bless you.
Thanks RTalloni.. I'll check out the link!
Keep going to the Bible! It is a lamp unto your feet, a light for your path!
Have you ever seen this website?
Diane thank you so much for reading about my experience.. I still get goosebumps!
This is an amazing experience. No wonder you remember it so swell and so strongly. I believe there are so many ways The Divine can reach us when we are open, when we ask. Sometimes I believe as humans we are afraid to see all that is available to us. It is marvelous when we're touched in the way you were. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Praseti and also Satori.. I appreciate you both taking the time to read this. Bless you both!
Thanks for share your spiritual experience to us. Life must go on, my friend. I thought we didn't want to be born in the beautiful earth. But there's a long way in front of us to achieved. We don't want such of the problem give us bad effect for our life. We have come back to God who created us. I believe this also give us motivation to welcome back to the new life. I hope you always feeling well and you can do the best for you life. God bless you!
Prasetio
Often these kinds of spiritual experiences can be intensely powerful and meaningful to us, affect the rest of our lives, despite not being flash or showy to others. Love comes right in and displaces the emptiness caused by a lack of Love, and it can be amazing how easily and gracefully it happens.
I've had Divine Love lift my spirits, dispel colds, flus, hangovers, and even occasionally drug effects when I ran it. (It was odd, getting high, running Divine energy and finding myself instantly detoxed, but after I got frustrated by it and wished it would leave my high alone, the energy never did that anymore. Although it would occasionally make me feel high itself.)
If you're interested in learning more about this kind of energywork, many call it Reiki. There are communities of Westerners who have learned to run this Divine healing energy through themselves and into others, where they and the one being healed both feel better as a result. Reiki is a form of Japanese divine healing energywork, with "Rei" meaning "divine energy" and "ki" meaning essential life force. Now that you know it's real, you can learn to run that energy intentionally and heal or strengthen people in difficult situations. It's a lot of fun, and it always leaves you feeling better.
Be well,
- Satori
I am so glad that you shared this with us. This is something that so many face. One of the worst things about depression is that it makes you feel so "alone' hearing someone else's testimony is so comforting and assuring. John 10:10 says The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Jesus died so that we could have deliverance and be set free from bondage. He does deliver, you said it yourself! You are walking proof! Thanks for sharing!
Jamie Brock Hub Author 14 hours ago
Nell, Thank you :) It is neat meeting other people who have had similar experiences. I would love to read about your experiences sometime :) Perhaps in a future hub? I understand these things are very personal and some may not want to share them with just anybody. Many blessings to you :)